visibility in the era of chronic overexposure and systemic disempowerment

also: how to be visible today is to be cancelled

fuzzy’s torso mirror image dissorientingly refracted thru waves of water speckled with refracted light squiggles

a closer look at the idolization of mere mortals in whom we project our greatest possible goodness or success.

those who relentlessly share internet opinions on the lives and being of others aren’t necessarily doing it for the purpose of changing others’ minds (tho some are). rather the target audience is for those whom might agree with them. something to rally and connect around. something to help us feel belonging and like our opinion and our being in the world matters to someone or something. we are in an age of the disempowered individual. that is not new. bayo akomalafe said recently in a course i’m taking: the biggest fetish of white modernity is the individual — this idea that we are all disconnected and that that makes us special. it is a strategy of playing people against each other and dismembering collective power and collective agenda. to fracture our connections not only from each other and our present, physical communities; but also to fracture us from our heritage, traditions, and ancestry, our greater-than-human kin, ecosystems, and our own ‘em-bodied wisdom (our body’s deep knowing, inclusive of epigenetics, intuition, self-knowledge, spiritual understandings).

occasionally, and refreshingly, there are those who maintain their weirdness, their own beat on their rise to visibility. they still do not escape these patterns of expectation and disappointment. thousands or millions of people telling you (or usually just shouting into the e-void) what it is you should be, do, and how. the same people who struggle with or aren’t even trying to figure out their own way of being and doing. it is the desperate human need for community and connection that has warped this pattern of behavior in the material of these times. because adherence is what is rewarded. and an idol can only stay pedestalized for so long. we are so far from our connection to ourselves and our communities that people feel physically or metaphorically assaulted by unexpected/undesired behavior from their idols.

so what does it mean to be visible when individualistic modernity has coded a supreme/hierarchical ideal into our collective consciousness? to meet these standards at the peak is to transform into a larger-than-life living idol. something more important than spiritual, familial, or self connection in the eyes of pop culture. these are our living gods that we hold to impossible standards. [think beyonce, lizzo, kanye west, doja cat, will smith, kim kardashian, simone biles, miley cyrus, drake.] and when it is inevitably (often gruesomely) revealed that these people are not gods, but mere mortals with human flaws and teams of people behind them orchestrating this vision of perfection, we are aghast, disappointed beyond belief… “how could they??!” after we placed our whole vision of ideal and perfection upon them.

at all levels i find, to be visible is to be cancelled, maybe just by one person but there is someone who is projecting their disempowerment onto that which they do not agree with within us. and there is always something within each of us that each other does not agree with. that is the glorious beauty of the universe differentiating thru so many fragmented embodied experiences. instead of celebrating this, we abhor it. how dare someone else be when we feel stifled at every direction. how dare they shine and not fit our pre-molded understanding.

the threat of cancelization or public humiliation is a tempting excuse to keep ourselves small. we are biologically coded to deeply need belonging because as humans we need eachother to survive. this is also a quintessential method of hierarchical control. if you do not obey, you will be ostracized, your life and well-being will be compromised. this is all part of the cycle of disempowerment of supremacy systems.

so what’s the answer to keep our peace and keep our shine? i’m still sorting that out… i’m sure it is not a one size for all answer though. i do feel it can’t hurt to always lead with compassion. then to sus out what i’m available and have energy for as well as what others have the availability to receive. sometimes it makes sense to show love to the haters. they are, after all, just tryna find their own way thru the late-capitalistic anthropocene hell scape like us all. and dosing love on hate can be immediately disarming. but there are also sooo many haters out there. and our time and energy are in certain ways finite. and it’s not impossible that a love response can throw fuel on peoples’ righteous and misplaced anger., which can open us up to more energetic suckage. that thing we notice in kids of “if we can’t get good attention then we’re going to go for baaad attention”. this of course appears across the age spectrum in those who feel disempowered and out of attractive options. if the aggressors’ goal is to get a reaction, then any reaction is positive reinforcement. as with kids and temper tantrums, sometimes they need to feel that as an ineffective way to get what they want. which is to say pretending the hater(s) don’t exist is sometimes the most direct and effective route to peace. or a middle option is to acknowledge the hater, and let them know that you’re unphased. people do examples of this all the time on social media. either replying to hate with loving messages, sharing a hateful message or critique with their own public response of “okay so…?”, straight up ignoring or not addressing adverse remarks, or going thru and blocking the haters from their interweb zones.

a peer and creative guide mar grace often reminds people they are advising “SOMEBODY HATeS YOUR ART ! and you should make it anyway”. another way of saying, you can’t please all of the people all of the time. and how could that unavoidable truth possibly be a reason to make ourselves small, round out all our interesting edges, or pretend that we are not also existing as delightfully imperfect beings finding our way here on earth.